Body Betrayed | Body Disabled

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Sunday, June 24, 2012

Writing for a Guest Blogger

I was asked by a fellow MG'er and Blogger to do a guest blog for her site.  During June, Debbie is focusing on MG Awareness month by posting the stories of various individuals with MG.  She is doing a great job.
Click here for a link to her blog.

This was my post for her blog.

Myasthenia Gravis is often called the "snowflake" disease because it effects everyone differently. Some have only mild, occasional symptoms which are easily controlled by medications. Others have a wide variety of symptoms that fluctuate daily in duration and severity. An unfortunate few with severe MG find little relief from this horrible disease even with all the modern medical treatments. Like a snowflake, no two individuals with MG are exactly alike. Yet, there is one item all who live with MG have in common--CHANGE!

I acquired MG along with other autoimmune issues in 2009, probably from a Tetanus vaccine. Since then, my life has been full of change. I changed from being a relatively healthy person to spending more time in hospitals, doctor's offices, treatment units, and taking more medication than I ever imagined. I changed from working hard all day long to being disabled with the need for sleep twice-a-day with the aid of my Bi-Pap machine to breathe. I changed from being at the height of my career to possessing no ability to perform as I once had. I changed from being a Senior Pastor who ministered to others to being one who now receives ministry.

Not only did I change, my family changed. In addition to everything else, my wife is now the grass cutter, fix-it-man, pill reminder, plumber, electrician, chauffeur, and my main-care giver. My inability to go and do has inherently limited her going and doing also. Since I no longer work, our income is limited and we have suffered some financial loss. Combine a disability income with the huge medical costs of MG and it becomes difficult to manage financially, but we have adapted and are surviving. She never bargained for all of this, but has graciously given of herself on my behalf. MG has dramatically effected both of our lives.

My journey through MG led me through some faith questioning. If we are honest with ourselves, God already knows our heart and our questions. So, why not be open with ourselves and Him about our questioning. After all, God is big enough to handle whatever we may ask. Why did this happen to me? When will things get better? How am I going to survive all this stress? Will I be healed?

As a theologian, I can give all the proper answers about the "whys." The answers deal with God's grace and goodness, original sin and wrath, wealth and prosperity verses the problem of suffering. But, sometimes the "proper answers" still leave me wanting. I don't live in the world of academic theology, I live in the very real world of just trying to survive from day to day--and so do you.

In this day-to-day real world, I often just don't know the "why." But I do know the Lord has been with me daily and continually provides for my needs. Instead of asking why, how can I live day by day, regardless of my circumstance, in a manner that pleases Him. That may result in the best change of all--how I live.

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