An individual was in active ministry
when MG and other medical issues hit hard. Now their ministry is
on-hold. I paraphrase their question as follows. "Why would
God give me these talents for ministry and then take away the ability
to use them?" I often wrestle with this question myself.
Here is some of my answer.
I was thinking about your question of
God's will and your life. I could list all types of theological
theorems, but sometimes theory does not really answer how we feel!
I thought of Biblical characters like
Abraham, Joseph, Daniel, Paul, etc. They, unlike many others, had a
very clear and directly personal, spoken word by God to them. They
knew His will clearly!
Like so many others, we have not had
God speak directly to us through a burning bush--but then we have
heard through the Holy Spirit. We know what to do as believers
through the indwelling Spirit. And honestly, from reading your
story, it does not seem you had much problem doing His will.
The "Rub" comes when what
happens to us does not match what we perceive His will to be, or in
our case, the gifts, talents, callings, etc., now seem to be (for
lack of a better word) useless.
It is OK to ask why! Maybe the
struggle we face now in regards to God's will is not so much "why,"
as it is "what's next?" We shall see! And is not that the
important part of faith and doing His will? For we walk by faith, not
sight.
Quick Medical Update
My walking became more difficult this
weekend. It feels like my legs do not want to move at the hip joint.
They hurt and feel really weak. My breathing is no better either.
It may be time for another plasma
exchange. I guess I need to contact my neurologist and set one up,
but I just do not like have my jugular vein cut open again.
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